Do You Want to be Happy?

On a warm October afternoon, I was drinking my usual iced green tea with a pen in hand, furiously writing in my journal to convince myself to go back to work, but I knew… Everything was about to change.

About 15 minutes is enough for any soul-sucking job, but I’d been at it for too long. I was paying the price—drained, lacking creativity, and uninterested in romance or fun. I felt like I was going insane. Something in me just wouldn’t let me go back to work that day. I quickly drafted my “I quit” email, hit the send button before changing my mind, and exhaled with my whole being.

And for the first time in a long time, I felt calm, clear, and confident—even without a plan.

Misery is Expensive

In most areas of my life, I lacked a strong sense of self. I often felt awkward, unwanted, and out of place. I felt powerless and small on the inside. My past was shot through with traumatic experiences, and the only lens I could see through was the trauma one. That left me feeling helpless, voiceless, powerless, and broken. I learned to make myself small to fit in and to protect myself from feeling gut-wrenching shame for existing. True story: Fine on the outside, cuckoo bananas on the inside.

Vulnerability and authenticity were too expensive for me; their price tag was acceptance. Because I didn’t feel good enough, I never bothered to be myself, stand up for what I believed in, or honor my needs and wants. My solution to the whole mess of existence was to live in a closet of my own making; I survived by being “The Great Chameleon.” I was dying to fit in, both literally and figuratively. I lost my soul. I felt depressed, lonely, ashamed, and purposeless.

Why You Should Fail Quickly and Often

But there was SOME part of me that felt life I was worth fighting for. Something in me persisted on the path of healing, and I was determined to claim my birthright: a full, abundant, joyful life. And so I went seeking…

If you’re familiar with the term “life of quiet desperation,” you’ll know what it was like for over a decade. I looked for answers in all the wrong people and places, but nothing outside of me that yielded any lasting satisfaction. I didn’t think “wherever you go, there you are” applied to me, and I got to learn the hard way…

  • I went through a series of career changes that had disastrous consequences: I lost my home.

  • I left a trail of tears, confusion, and agony in my intimate relationships. They were hurt. I was hurt. I failed at love time and again, leading me to conclude that something was very wrong with me and I didn’t deserve love.

  • I spent hundreds of thousands of dollars chasing after the next self-help craze (workshops, experiences, books, CDs, programs, etc.), only to be left wanting more, feeling less capable, and like I was missing something.

  • I joined a self-help group, where I spent over 6 years being told that my thinking was wrong and that I couldn’t trust myself. But everyone else was doing so well! What was I doing wrong?

  • I turned to religion and lost my creativity, sexuality, and verve. What once was comforting became confining.

PHEW!!!! I figured out that thing over there was not, is not, and never will be the answer. All the grasping and flailing I did drove me crazy, and I reached the end of myself. If you’re going to follow my path exactly, I suggest you try everything under the sun before turning inward as quickly as possible. You’ll have a heap of pain and suffering quickly rather than slowly, which shortens up the time under pressure you’ll inevitably endure. <— Meant in a cheeky way; you don’t have to do it like that. I found a better way. I stopped looking outside of myself and started looking within.

How to Let Go of Suffering

It sounds simple: Just return to your Self.

But simple clearly isn’t easy, else we’d all be doing it, right?

The poison of conditioned existence is strong, and our patterns are deeply embedded in our psyches. It’s not easy to see how we are creating our results or our circumstances. It’s not easy to take 100% responsibility for our lives and for creating the past, present, and future. And it’s not easy to give up the strategies we’ve used to protect us from feeling pain and discomfort. But in our aversion to pain and clinging to pleasure, we keep ourselves STUCK in the web of madness.

Just try it: Stop seeking approval and validation from the outside world. Don’t let yourself be wooed by the satisfaction of fitting in. Create your life the way that lines up with your Soul and be happy! Seriously, you can stop reading now because that’s the answer. But if you want to hear more, please stay with me…

When I started trusting my inner guidance, my hopelessness lifted and my confidence grew. When I followed my heart, my clarity heightened. As I learned to regulate my nervous system, keeping myself out of fight-or-flight, I mastered being calm inside no matter what was going on outside. And as I began to speak my truth, my authentic power returned to me.

What happened? I stopped hiding (trying to fit in) and let go of self-protection. Living with an open heart in this world takes guts, courage, and grit. I figured I had a little bit of that after healing trauma and all, so I muddled through while I built more soul strength. I committed to trust myself, honor my inner wisdom, and embrace who I am. And with that came the inevitable: The full ownership of my calling. It is my job to help people get in touch with their inner wisdom and support them in living from there.

How to Be Happy and Free

If you’ve been walking along a broken road, know that there is a path just for you. All the things that have been a “miss” have brought you here, to this time and this place where you’re open and ready for radical and real change. That change starts by withdrawing your attention from the people and places around you, and seeking your own answers from within.

Most people struggle to live their own lives, own their power, and trust themselves because we’re conditioned from an early age not to. We’re told that if we just follow “this formula,” everything will be OK. But we know that’s not true, especially when we’re vibrant, creative, and a little bit “out there.”

I don’t have your answers, but you do. And I know how to help you do the work it takes to get them. There’s no special formula, life hack, or quick fix. I wish I could promise that, but then I’d be lying to you. What I have is the lived experience and practical application of spiritual principles that helped me recover my sense of Self, confidence, trust, and joy.

I can help you learn to develop the muscles of intuition and action that it takes to be fully self-expressed. If you are ready to take the next step and uncover the passion and purpose to be your SELF, then call me to schedule your free 15-minute consultation.

P.S. If you’re still digging around and just want some free resources, subscribe to my newsletter. I don’t mail often, but when I do it’s straight from The Force.