How to Stop Trying and Start Trusting
/When effort feels more like force, things stop being fun or interesting. Creativity takes a dive and passion withers away. Stress and boredom invite us to “check out,” and by the time we’re feeling centered again, we would really rather not check back in. This is how some dreams die.
But there’s a way to bring them back to life!
I recently read an article about allowing yourself to flounder. Take a moment to think about that: What would it be like to let yourself not know the answers, directions, or next steps?
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See what I did there? I meant it when I typed it: give yourself the gift of a few moments to think.
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Whatever you came up with… It’s probably a variation on the “uncomfortable” or “vulnerable” theme. And few of us are fans of sitting with discomfort. But the creative process - and life is very much a creative process - invites us to doodle, noodle, fumble, and search. To be creative is to bring forth something new, so by definition we’re going to wander through unknown territory on our life’s journey. Floundering is simply part of life. Am I making sense here?
That floundering is what allows us to let go of our old ideas and consider other paths. But sometimes we are more attached to the ideas we have than to the opportunities in front of us. Why? I think it’s because we don’t realize where our minds are; we’re thinking by habit or routine. This is where mindfulness comes in. Watching the incessant activities of our monkey minds can help us get to know our thinking and behavior patterns (also known as habits), which then frees us from operating on “auto pilot” and allows us to choose a new way to relate to our dreams. This is what it means to live consciously.
It’s often not the dream that isn’t meant to be; it’s usually the attachment to form or process that trips us up. When we’re putting our effort into “making something happen” in a certain way, we miss the many ways that might get us where we want to go more easily. Our addiction to certainty kills our creativity.
What would be different if you let go of the form and focused instead on the essence?
If you prefer bullet points for how to stop trying and start trusting, I made this for you:
When effort starts to feel like force, we often give up on our dreams.
Bringing forth something new (our dreams) is a creative process, which means letting yourself flounder.
Floundering is uncomfortable, so we often throw ourselves into activity to avoid discomfort.
Addiction to certainty kills creativity.
Mindfulness lets us break the habit of acting on auto pilot and makes room for us to think new ideas.
Letting go of the form and focusing on the essence of the dream invites new possibilities and a gentler way of being.
And as always, if you’re curious about how I can help you reach your goals with greater ease and wellbeing, contact me for a free 15-minute consultation. I’d love to hear about your dreams and support you in achieving them!