If Your Kindness Doesn’t Include Yourself, It’s Not Complete

That feeling when someone is unnecessarily harsh with you…

Yeah, that’s the one I experienced in two interactions with others today. I’m still caught off guard when someone has a chance to be kind yet chooses otherwise. I’ll spare you the gory details; suffice it to say that two relationships were severed today because I believe that whenever possible, I’d rather be kind than right. My muses definitely didn’t feel the same, so staying in those relationships wasn’t going to work for me.

I feel so strongly about this subject, I won’t drift off to sleep until I finish this post. I’ll talk about willingness (as promised) in a day or so, but for now I want to talk about kindness, performing simple acts that have the power to change someone’s day.

If you work with people, you know that people aren’t always at their best. Hell, if you’re a person, you’re probably not always at your best. So when things go sideways for you, it’s a blessing to receive kindness from someone. One small act of kindness can change everything.

Maybe someone opened the door for you when your hands were full.

Perhaps you were a couple of dollars short at the grocery store and someone stepped up to cover you.

It could be that someone unexpectedly offered to buy your tea at the convenience store.

A work deadline was extended.

Your harsh tone was overlooked.

Someone let you cut in to traffic during rush hour.

You got a free dessert because the entree took too long.

What’s on your list of kindness you’ve experienced?

Man, when those little things happen for me, it’s like a 64-ounce cup of goodness goes straight to my soul, filling me up in ways I didn’t realize I needed. And if I’m otherwise cranky upon receiving said kindness (which happens from time to time), suddenly I feel a little lighter. When I am able to extend acts of kindness to others, I feel like I’m acting in alignment with my highest and best self. Someone once said to me, “Self esteem is what happens when you do estimable things.” Well, then. For me, extending kindness is an estimable act.

Remember what it’s like to be on the receiving end of harshness…it’s painful. And tonight I came up with the most appropriate response I could offer to the person sending anything other than kindness my way.

I hope that you’re met with kindness, especially when you need it most.

Sincerely meant: this is exactly what I wish for everyone. Thank you to the two people/situations who inspired something in me today, even though I don’t like how it happened or how I felt when it did.

We all come across plenty of hurting people. Whether or not we know what they’re going through, any act of kindness creates a connection, a recognition of both our innate goodness and worth and theirs.

Kindness is healing. Give it any chance you get.

Disclaimer: For those of us who’ve experienced trauma, particularly of the relationship variety, we may have crossed wires about kindness and boundaries. My guideline is this: If your kindness doesn’t include yourself, it’s not complete.