There are some people in this world who are unapologetically themselves. They wear what they want, they say what they want, they do what they want, and they don’t apologize for it. We’ll call them unicorns.
Then there’s the rest of humanity: changing who they are, what they say so that they: fit in; don’t rock the boat; don’t cause a scene; don’t embarrass themselves or someone else…you get the picture. We’ll call them chameleons.
So we have ourselves a spectrum. From UNICORN to CHAMELEON . . . It’s the IDGAF (I Don’t Give A F*ck) Spectrum. Check out my gorgeously amateur graphic. (Done is better than perfect.)
The question is: Where do you fall? And where do you want to be?
Are you stuck in a relationship environment that invites your chameleon to the party, or are you thriving in a relationship that celebrates your unicorn?
The longer I spend on this spinning ball we call earth, the more confident I am that we were created to be unicorns. I no longer have the time to twist myself into some altered version of reality for the sake of some outcome, like keeping peace in a relationship. I would rather be ME and be REAL than try to meet the idea of me that someone else has. AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT.
Over the years I’ve been asked by many, many people to show up differently. Here are some dumbsh*t things I’ve heard:
Put some makeup on.
Are you going to wear that?
Why did you say that?
Why would you say it that way?
Why don’t you do it like this?
But this is “proper” or “appropriate.
OMFG, if you ask me to be APPROPRIATE I am going to scream my face off.
You’ll notice that today’s blog post is a little bit more raw than usual. I’ve just watched an IG video by @garyvee, and honestly—I probably swear as much as he does and I’m about as direct is he is…but I’ve been told to tone it down, so he inspires me to be myself. I AM NOT FOR EVERYONE, and trying to please them all just wears me out and wears me down.
That video is where I got the title for this blog post, BTW. Thanks, Gary! It’s great video… watch it when you get a few minutes…I believe it was posted on Tuesday, April 2. … And by the way, Gary (like me) loves to drop f-bombs all over the place, so you may want to keep that in mind if you’re concerned about kids or coworkers hearing the swearing. If you don’t want to watch it, here’s the point: DO NOT CHANGE FOR ONE PERSON.
When we place someone’s opinion of us above our naturally glorious state, we short change ourselves and the world of our authenticity, of who we were created to be, of the LIGHT that we ARE.
Let me bust out a disclaimer. There’s a balance between:
(a) receiving constructive feedback, evaluating it, and then opting to change because that makes us more of who we are - Love
(b) letting one person’s opinion of who we are, what we believe, and what we offer to the world diminish us.
On the one hand, the feedback invites us to be MORE of who we are; on the other hand, the feedback tells us to be LESS than who we are.
You are magnificent all on your own. You are brilliant. You are the Light of the World.
If someone tells you otherwise, I invite you to remember the IDGAF Spectrum and decide where you want to be…and then act accordingly.
You’ve got this, you beautiful sparkly unicorn!!!