If you’ve ever started a new business or a new job or a new relationship, that impostor syndrome will rear its ugly head. A little voice (that actually booms like James Earl Jones) will come in and say, “Who do you think you are? Do you even know what you’re doing?” And a little voice (that actually sounds like you’re whispering through a blanket fort) will respond, “NOOOOO!!!!!”
Then, if you’re human and you know it you’ll clap your hands (get my reference?) and get stuck in analysis paralysis and freak the F out about your new endeavor.
Oh sisters…how I know that feeling all too well. Doing new things brings with it the realization and the feeling that we are vulnerable. We so desperately want to be good enough that we build a wall of first impressions to enter the room on our behalf. We so deeply want to be known that we show up the way we think people want us to while leaving behind our deepest, truest selves. And when we do all of that…we end up stifling our best work, our greatest abilities, and what makes us uniquely who we are.
After watching my girl Brene Brown’s Netflix special the Call to Courage… Hold on, hold on, hold on. Y’all, you’ve got to watch this. If you haven’t seen it yet, get thee a free Netflix trial (if they’re still doing that) and grab a box of tissues, and turn off your phone for the hour and 16 minutes that the deal is on. And if your S.O. is available and you’re ok to ugly cry in front of them, invite them to watch with you. I took notes. Pages of notes. And I was Facebooking while Brene was talking on my screen in the middle of the night, so I’m going to watch it again. OK. Back to this blog post.
Where were we? Oh, we were trying to put our best foot forward, fake it until we make it, and dress to impress. WHO HAS TIME FOR ALL THAT??? Do you? Do you have the capacity to keep on faking it until you make it? What if you took the energy you’re using for faking it and put it toward making it, all the while being REAL, being yourself, and being inexperienced?
Guess what happens when we start to admit that we don’t know what the F we’re doing? We start to relax…and we start to learn…and we start to figure things out. We are open. We aren’t locked behind the ideas or images of how we should show up. We are free to show up as we are and to allow the energy that creates worlds, our very essence, to guide us. We are free to create something new, something exciting, something wonderful, something that makes our hearts sing!
What a liberating way to live!
So the next time you think to yourself, “I don’t know what I’m doing,” remember that most of us do not. Most of us live under the illusive spell that we do until life comes along and throws us a curveball. WHA-BAM! And we’re shocked out of our daydream that we know WTF is going on. The truth is: we’re all just trying to figure out how to handle the next situation that’s in front of us.
It’s trusting that we are capable and that we are enough that gives us the freedom to live without the need to pretend like we know what we’re doing all the time. Let’s put down the charade, connect with one another, admit we’re all a bit of a hot mess, and support one another’s progress. Life gets softer, easier, and kinder when we do.